Building a Better Jason Statham

The Blueprint

Strengths and Weaknesses

Chase’s Assessment

Jon’s Assessment

 

On April 3rd, one of that baddest bald dudes returns to the big screen. It ain’t Bruce Willis. Not The Rock. No, not Vin Diesel. Matt Damon? When was he bald? Oh

 

Wait, there’s a new Hitman movie coming out too?!

 

Listen, we’re talking about Jason Statham. He’s probably the dude they should’ve picked for the Hitman role back in the day anyway. Soon, we’ll be able to catch him in his element: driving things and scowling at the camera.

Jason Collage
Go ahead. Try to guess which movie is which.

 

Fun fact: Jason Statham was a diver on Britain’s National Diving Squad for 12 years.[1] He also played football as a kid, but I’m going to have to assume “football” actually means soccer.

 

After consulting the research lab at Architects of Aesthetics, we’ve divvied up his attributes like this:

Strengths

+ Practitioner of Wing Chung Kung Fu, Karate, and Kickboxing[2]

+ Tracks his workouts[3]

+ Been dating a Victoria’s Secret model for 5 years

Weaknesses

– Prefers bodyweight moves

– Can’t pull off a cowboy hat

– Will probably star as Grumpy Cat in the gritty reboot

Chase’s Assessment

Hey, if you’re all about sticking with bodyweight, I won’t give you the barbell spiel. I will, however, say you should think of some way to incorporate progressions. Invest in a vest to set up a strength tier. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck working with just volume, and eventually the volume will get too high (i.e. Great, now I have to do 500 push-ups).

 

If you’re adamant about sticking “all natural” and just use bodyweight, you’ll need to find another way to stress the muscle. And you will do so by making the exercise variation more intense.  So if we use the push-up example again, you can change the position of the hands or switch up the angle (a la incline/decline) or change your squat for a split squat or 5 second pause squat for reps.

Jon’s Assessment

So you can’t pull off a cowboy hat, big deal. Who are you trying to impress anyway? You already got your special someone! Maybe you’re feeling the pressures of the image you set-up. I mean, that perma-scowl makes me think you’re on track of overcompensating.

 

Now, unlike what my Mom says, I don’t think your face will get stuck that way. But, you will build a reputation as a one trick pony. In the acting biz, that’s perfectly fine. Steady paycheck, right? Just make sure it doesn’t bleed over into your personal life, buddy.

References: 

1. Iley, Chrissy (5 October 2008). “Jason Statham, last action hero”. The Times (UK). Retrieved 8 June 2009.

2. Jason Statham interview USAToday.com, 10 October 2002.

3. Zimmerman, Mike (5 June 2010). “The Jason Statham Workout: Secrets of Superlean”. Men’s Health Magazine. 

 

 

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