Constructive Conversation: Love Yourself (Right)

In this conversation, we tackle the problem of the popular fitness mantra “loving yourself”.


Chase Erwin: All right, brother! Time to bust up another myth.

Jon Dao: Before we get into that, I got three words for you: OH GAH, CONGRATS!

CE: The fam grows again!

JD: And speaking of growth, I think this week’s theme ties right into that. For the audience out there, what exactly is your beef with “loving yourself”?

CE: I don’t have a problem with the idea of “loving yourself”. I mean, sure, do it. I hope you don’t hate yourself.

JD: Those “Try not to hate yourself” t-shirts just didn’t sell the same way I guess.

CE: My problem is with how it usually plays out. I just don’t want to see people touting that phrase as a cover for complacency.

JD: Yeeeaaaah. I think with any kind of love, it’s easy to get romanticized. And then, it becomes an issue of the idea versus the reality.

CE: You have a story that’s real pertinent to this.

JD: Well yeah, it’s the start of my whole fitness journey. I was real hyped up on having a girlfriend in college. “At last, someone who loves me for me!”

And she did. Sort of. Maybe. Who knows.

But whether or not that “love” was legit, I kind of let that be the end-all be-all.

CE: Can you be a little more specific?

JD: I let that relationship be my defining trademark. There’s Jon. He’s in a relationship. Well, I guess that’s all there is to it.

CE: … More specifically geared towards fitness?

JD: Oh, I didn’t do jack! I gained 20-25 pounds. The thought was like, “Hey, I already have somebody!” no need to put in the extra work. My waist size grew, but as a person I really didn’t. I definitely wasn’t take care of myself.

CE: And you got to take care of yourself, man. 🙂

JD: Haha– I just want to point out to the readers who don’t know, Chase is also the one who pulled me out of the rut when that relationship ended. Almost the exact same phrasing!

CE: I want to say the moral of the lesson is that love or no love, you still have to take care of yourself. You’re not done growing.

JD: How about we put it like this– you should still be bettering yourself.

CE: Ooo I like that. And you can always be better.

JD: To love every single thing about yourself? I don’t know how realistic that is.

It’s not like we’re encouraging people to look in the mirror to find all these flaws about themselves. But if you’re not completely satisfied with every single aspect about yourself, I think that’s okay.

In fact, it’s better than okay. As a human being, you should find things to work on and improve.

CE: Yeah, go do something.

Love yourself? Workout.
Hate yourself? Workout.
(Pls dun hate yourself kthx)

BOOM! T-shirt in the making.

JD: Muhammad Ali had a good quote that ties this all together.

CE: I am the greatest!

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. – Muhammad Ali

JD: Again, love or no love, keep growing and getting better.


Enjoy the back and forth? Got a topic you’d like to see the Architects discuss? E-mail us your ideas: aoabbu [at] gmail.com

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